6/23/09 - Happy Birthday Sweet Kayleigh

I spent the morning thinking and ever since Kayleigh was born, I never thought that I would be spending Kayleigh's 1st birthday without Kayleigh. I wanted to see her smear pink cake all over her face while we all laughed hysterically. I wanted her to rip bows off presents, just to have them stuck all over her head. I wanted to help her blow out that single standing candle and take endless photos to share with the world.

Well, we did! Even though Kayleigh wasn't physically here, she was here with us in spirit as we celebrated her first birthday. We bought balloons, our wedding cake maker made us a beautiful pink and brown cake and Debbie from New Zealand, a good blog friend had some delicious butterfly cupcakes delivered to our house this morning. We wrote a big card/letter to her on a dry erase board and we cooked a delicious dinner on the grill. We planted several flowers in our yard that were from Kayleigh's memorial and we enjoyed a wonderful day thinking of our sweet angel.

"Kayleigh. Happy birthday sweetheart! Mommy and I love you so very much and we had a wonderful day today celebrating your birthday. I know you were there with us and I wish so much that I could give you a big kiss. You are so special and so many people are thinking of you today. I am sure you are having a beautiful day today and I am sure you received more gifts than you can imagine up there. Just know that we miss you dearly and there is not a second that goes by that we aren't thinking of you and wishing we could squeeze you one more time. Brandon and Allyson said hello and they love you. Have the best day today and know that we love you tons!"

"We took some photos for you Kayleigh"
























God Bless,

6/21/09 - HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there and thank you all so much to those who wished me a Happy Father's Day too :)

I apologize for not keep up with the blog and keeping you informed with how things are going. Everytime I sit down to write something, I am at a loss of words. I know this sounds crazy, but I have typers block and just can't think of what to talk about. I guess when you have so much to talk about with Kayleigh, you run out of things to say when there isn't much going on with us.

That leads me to something I would like to continue and that is not "Thoughtful Thursdays" but "Thankful Thursday" to talk about those in our lives who we are so thankful for. I have a lot of people in my life who have lead the path to direct my growth as a person and I think it would be an honor to acknowledge those people to the world.

I know today is Father's day Sunday and it doesn't look or sound anything like Thursday, but how can I pass up on a day to recognize one of the most important people in my life...my Dad.

My Dad, Gary Freeman or better known around here as "Papa G" is everything that exemplifies what a dad should be. He is who paved the way for me to be the man that I am today. From the very beginning, I remember my dad being the hard working man who supported our family to have a life filled with so many wonderful memories. We were a middle class family who never had the expensive things, but we had more than that. We had all the love a family could ask for.

The best memories I had growing up were spent with my family and we were all very intensely in to baseball. My brothers and I played competitively, and my dad made sure we had the up to date gloves, bats and training to increase our skills. My dad was a catcher growing up and before he seriously hurt his back, he was a great ballplayer. However, a career ending injury can't take away his knowledge and he certainly passed on a great bit of help to gear us ready for each level of play. All three of us (Scott, Josh and myself) succeeded in our baseball careers and we owe it all to my dad.

My dad is a leader and is very knowledgeable about everything that life's lessons bring. However, he may be too knowledgeable in the math department which scared us to death to ask for help in our math setbacks. If you look up "human calculator" in the dictionary, you will see a photo of my dad...and one of those clouds above his head with an impossible math calculation spelled out.

Beyond his math intelligence, he is a big teddy bear who loves "Patti Kaye" (my mom) and holds nothing back to show it. You can see the size of his heart and the love he has for her, which shows us all how to be a knight in shining armour. The love he gives will be an impossible level to reach, but worth every ounce to try.

I am the dad I was for Kayleigh because my dad lead me to love like no other. Kayleigh would have grown up with the best grandpa is the world, but she is certainly shining down from heaven just waiting for the day "Papa G" can kiss, hug and tease her (like he does to us all) in to giggles.

"Dad, I love you so much and I want to thank you for being the best example of a father anyone could ask for. I am beyond blessed to call you my dad and even though I have been a pain at times, thank you for loving me unconditionally. You should be so proud of yourself for the life you have lived and the lives you have touched. I am lucky to have you and thank you for EVERYTHING"



God Bless,

6/4/09 - Family Check-Ups

Now when you all said that we need take it easy this summer, recover from a crazy year, focus on our family, take a vacation, or rejuvenate our souls, it didn't need to start off by going to the dentist. I think Aimee got the wrong impression of getting things back on track by scheduling doctors visit and dentist visits, especially when the dentist performed a deep cleaning on "just one" side of my mouth. Oh yeah! Just one! The other is coming next week. OUCH!!!

Actually after the multiple shots of Novocaine, and the occasional stick of the nerve, it wasn't too bad. Thank goodness all I have to do is type and not speak. It would probably sound something like this: Wewl, I wawz twying tew tawk, budt my woods dit comb owt wite.

Many of you asked how Brandon and Allyson are doing with Kayleigh going to Heaven. Actually, they are taking it pretty well. We have noticed that Brandon (the emotional one) is getting even more emotional over little things lately, so we think it may have something to do with that. He lost it and had a meltdown the other day when he forgot his book bag, even when we told him it would be okay and we would let the teacher know. Brandon says his prayer after mine at the table which consists of this: "God is good, God is great. Thank for this food and please watch over Kayleigh and the homeless people"

Ally is doing great too. She has a nurturing soul, so I thought that she was be affected big time, but she seems to be taking it really well. She and Brandon both understand that Kayleigh is in Heaven and that Heaven is a much better place than where we are now. We have tried to teach them so much about how God already has a plan for all of us and that this was Kayleigh's plan. We make sure we tell them that we can not get mad at God for some of the things He does because everything God does is good, even if we can't find the good in His decisions. They have really accepted that and are very intelligent that they surprise us sometimes.

We have all decided to get our lives back on track and focus on our health this summer. We have been eating really good lately, working out and trying to lose some of the weight we put on this past year from all the bad eating and stress. Aimee and I both have lost a little weight this week and so has Brandon. (WOO HOO!) He put on a lot more than we hoped would ever happen, which made us feel really guilty. However, we are working with him by watching his intake, exercising with him and keeping him overall active. His face seems to be slimming down already, or maybe it is because we cut off all his hair :)

I plan to get back on track with my training. My last grappling tournament was just prior to Kayleigh being born and I have started focusing on my training for that again. I am very excited and maybe in a few months, I will be able to compete again and you all can follow me on that journey as well. If you haven't seen that blog, check it out: Adam's Journey to the Cage

Who do we have left? Oh....I almost forgot. Sam and Georgia. Many of you don't know these two wonderful family members, but you may have caught a glimpse of them in the background of some of our family photos. They are our sweet dogs. Samantha is a mix that Chris (Aimee's brother in-law) picked up from out in the woods, that we took in and Georgia is our hot-dog. They are awesome and they too just had their check-ups to make sure they are still healthy. After seeing what was rammed up their butt makes my teeth feel so much better.

For those who purchased bracelets, I have a friend who has taken over the ordering, processing and shipping. She ran in to problems with the distributor and was given a bad shipment. That would have been funny if you all sported bracelets that said Kayleigh weighed 100lbs 1 ounce at birth. I guess that would be a hell of a miracle too. Ouch! Poor Aimee! lol. Needless to say, to receive a shipment takes 10 days, so this has put her 20 days behind. If you haven't received your bracelet, you will soon so thank you for your patience. Please don't forget to send in your photos still so I can add you in to that sweet scrap book.

Thank you all for your love and support.

God Bless,

6/1/09 - Butterfly

At Kayleigh's memorial, I painted a picture with words of how she was in Heaven, sitting on our Lords lap while captivated by a butterfly which was flying in front of her face. The image of this butterfly has brought a blessing to our family. Since we have moved, we have seen more butterflies around our house and wherever we go than we have ever seen in our lifetime. It's Kayleigh. It's her constant reminder that she is here with us. It sends warm smiles through both of our faces.

There are so many great ideas sent our way and we are more than excited to sit down and think of what we want to do. One of the ideas had certainly sparked an interest and we are ironing out the details to see if this is something we can possibly do. Before we break the news to everyone of what we are going to do, we want to make sure it is definitely doable first.

On the other hand, many of you mentioned that I should write a book. I have been working on a book for several months now and before my computer crashed, which set me back a bit, I will be continuing to use my time this summer to finish it. Know any literary agents and/or publishers who might be interested? I need to start the process soon of hiring an agent who can find me a publisher. Many people said to just self publish it, but I want the world to be touched by our Angel, so let's try and get it in every book store around from the get-go. For those who know me, I don't just settle and I am a perfectionist, so I want nothing but the best for Kayleigh's story. But what proud parent doesn't, right?

If we can get through this process of publishing the book and the organization, then you all can expect some children's books to follow. I may write some books to help NICU families through their journey. Anything we can do to help, we will. We want to use what God has given us to glorify Him and help others.

Many of you write and speak of our strength and how it amazes you. Honestly, It amazes us too. Aimee and I have agreed that we actually feel guilty for not being as depressed as someone may normally be. Can you believe that? However, we are quickly reminded of God and how awesome He is and how wonderfully He used Kayleigh in her short period of time. Many people may not see the reasons and sometimes their loss could have come unsuspectingly, which I 100% agree that those two combinations can cause so much pain. God not only blessed us with a sweet little girl for a short amount of time, but He blessed us with a reason and He blessed us with some notice.

We sometimes wonder how lost we would be without the Lord in our lives. We wonder how upside down our lives would be right now for not knowing and trusting God for the decisions He makes. We have been to hell and back this year, but honestly it wasn't that bad because HE was holding our hand. What would this world have been like if Jesus hadn't come to show us what real and true love is. We would all be completely lost.

We are still getting settled in to our normal routine here and it may take some time, but I promise to post more often. I still have some changes to make to the blog too. Once the children are out of school, we will have a lot of family time and many memories to capture and share about. This is going to be one wild and crazy summer as us Freeman's share with you how much fun we can be.

I can't wait to get this party started :)

God Bless Everyone!